Getting back on track?

Getting back on track?

Lanzarote was a weather risk and everyone kept telling us it would be cold now so we did pack a jumper or two just incase but to be honest, we decided that getting away regardless of the weather was the main thing. 

That week in Lanzarote though, I kid you not, was the hottest they had had in a late November for years. We actually felt like we were being blessed with such a great place and the beach was absolutely awesome. We did nothing but chill and eat, haha! 

The bleeding actually stopped and I felt I was on the bend, finally the only physical reminder I had was my round belly but I felt ready to get back on the fitness ladder.

Christmas time came and wet, me and hubby were definitely back in the fitness game, well hubby was always on it but I was taking smaller steps, so got in touch with my personal fitness trainer and got stuck right into it. 

I was doing really well and a few months later hubby and I decided we could give it another go on the baby front and puff!(…yep there was a wand involved, haha) I missed a period. We were expecting and decided to see how it goes before we broke the news. 

Soon though hubby felt comfortable with anouncing to the family about pregnancy but I really didn’t want to. We talked about it for days and eventually I thought ok it’s not long till the first scan so fine but still I wasnt 100% happy with it. why? I think for me I just wanted to get past the first scan and know things were ok this time. Everybody is different you should go with what you feel is right. 

So the announcement was made and most people were happy and looking forward to the baby.  Hubby and I were grateful but remained grounded though as we knew any thing can happen.

Blimey though, news flew across the nation like wild fire and everybody knew in a matter of days. Ok, people may have been excited or just wanted to spread the news but in no exaggeration it felt a bit over the top, for me anyway. I let it go though, focused on not stressing out and with that we booked to go to Greece as we would be in safe zone for traveling after the scan.

The cravings were out of this world and morning sicknes was horrible. I was feeling sick all day long as well as whilst I was sleeping, so ginger ale became my Saviour. Hubby would bring me dry crackers and tea first thing in morning, so I would have energy to get out of bed and being at work became hard work especially at lunch times with the smells, yuk! 

The day of the scan came around… my tummy feeling cold with the ultrasound gel, we watched our baby on the screen and waited..

It’s the last series.

After Vampire Diaries ended there was a bit of a null for me but hubby was relieved, even though he refuses to watch it he does find himself drawn to TVD but he just resists the urge. I don’t blame him though the whole thing is nearly over so starting now would be pointless and annoying for me with all the questions I know he would come out with. 

The problem is though for over a year I have tried to get him to watch some sort of series with me but just didn’t want to. I did persist though and continue to tempt him with a few box sets but eventually left it.

Then out of the blue one evening he goes it would be good to watch a series together. what? hey! after all this time, now he wants to watch something. ok ok let’s keep this relaxed and let him lead the conversation and don’t be too excited what did you have in mind?…this is when the fun started. Basically to cut a long story short we now follow 2; Hunters and WestWorld. 

The only frustrating thing is though that we are always 2 to 3 episodes behind, because just dont get a chance to watch them but at the same time I guess this is good, as we can do more than 1 in a straight run and it is way better on catch up with out the adverts.

Plus BBC Aprentice is back on and this series has been quite entertaining.

So if you don’t already know, Vampire Diaries is back, woop! I mean, I was super excited when I saw ‘recorded’ on my Skype Planner and that’s when hubby went straight to bed, hehe.

It is the very last series though (sniff sniff), so I’m looking forward to how they wrap this all up and whether Elena comes back or not, apparently she will? 

The first time…

The first time…

Hey?! … Na, I’m probably just feeling hot so go back to sleep, no way am I getting up before the alarm goes off

I roll over in bed and can still feel strange and uncomfortable but I ignore it, it’s too early and I want to sleep, feel so tired but somethings not right and I feel damp and gooey down there. 

Ugh, fine I’ll go to the bathroom with my eyes closed so I can get back to sleep quickly after the loo. 

As I walk to closer to the bathroom I begin wake up more and realise, omg I started my period, it was Monday morning after a big family pre-wedding function and the last thing I felt like I needed was a period at work. Well I guess it wasn’t during the function but still, Meh.

I walked in to the bathroom and pulled my pyjamas down and What the f**k! it was like a mini massacre. What the hell, this is gunna be a heavy one I thought. So I took my pyjamas off and set them aside but as I sat down, immediately, I was wide awake it was red everywhere, blood was flowing out like a full running tap (or so it felt like). It was all so quick, as when I thought it had stopped it all started again and then I felt drained, tired and weak. My tummy was in pain and feeling numb. Hang on…

1 day earlier 

Have you eaten? 

Yeah just had some with the rest of the girls!

Oh good you look so much better now. The colour has returned to your face 

Oh ok!

Hey, what was wrong with the colour of my face I thought. I then realised I was actually feeling much better and the food had restored the energy I was obviously lacking. Maybe it’s just the period time thing and the whole event, with so much going on it can get draining. I hate periods, they’re so annoying!

My instinct told me straight away, I knew it. Theres no other explanantion…I’m a having a miscarriage.

I waited for things to calm down and sorted my self out and was about to go find hubby when there was a knock on the door…. 

That morning i rang in sick to work, I made an appointment to see the doctor and was also sent to the hospital for a scan and check up. They confirmed our thoughts but we were in great care and they were really supportive. 

We went to the Gurdwara and did our Ardaas. On the way out we bumped in to the Mahant (religious superior) who gave us words of wisdom and strengt, Which was nice because we hadn’t told anyone but there is no questioning someone like a Mahant they are just on another level and know what to say at the right time.

Hubby and I decided to keep this to ourselves for the time being for many reasons and it was a lot easier to deal with and move on. I miscarriaged for about 4 months, where I was in and out of hospital for checks and was always confirmed there was nothing wrong except my body clearing out so to speak and should calm down eventually. 

In the Indian culture when a woman gives birth or has a loss she usually has special foods made for her with lots of mmineral and nutrients dense properties for healing, usually called panjeeri, but as we hadn’t told anyone this would have been a little difficult to get made for me except a couple of weeks later my sister inlaw gave birth to her son and puff I had 2 box fulls dropped into my hands, to which I gladly accepted. 

A lot of people don’t like this stuff but I love nuts, oats and seeds. my tip is to add it on your cereal, breakfast oats or have it like muesli. It is ground for easy digestion post birth so maybe start off with 1 table spoon and build up slowly through out the day. it is really good for you and you can wash it down with your favourite hot drink. 

Another tip is that I get the ladies to make mine in to bar shapes just like oat bars and that makes it into a great treat and on the go snack. 

At around 3 months I realised I was experiencing physical trauma and after talking with hubby we decided to go on holiday. It was a different kind of holiday, as beach holidays isn’t what we would usually go for but this time it seemed really appealing. It was November time and Europe was obviously getting cold so we weren’t spoilt for choice but we were stressed out and needed both physical and mental RnR.

So off we went to Lanzarote…

Halloween 

Halloween 

This year the girls nursery had a pumpkin party for the kids. P asked to be a witch for Halloween so I decided to get E a little cat outfit just because I thought she would get frustrated with all that material. 

This morning P mentioned a wander so I had to quickly think up and create a wander for her because like an idiot I didn’t get one.

So looking around the house with 10 minutes before we have to leave for nursery, I came up with the black wand (in featured image) made with of rolled up paper and then wrapped around it with duck tape, haha. I thought it was pretty cool and the nursery thought it was really creative. Most importantly P loved it and insisted on hiding it away for bed time so that no one can find it and do naughty tricks in the night.

On the downside I forgot the stuff for the trick or treat and the pumpkin for the window, so we had no knocks on the door. I felt bad because there were so many kids this year out and about, sorry I’ll do better year.

Ooops! I think I just got about away with it though, shhhhhh. 

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Monday Memoirs 

Monday Memoirs 

A quick update whilst I enjoy some quiet time with a bowl of icream.
I have been working on quite a few blogs in the past few weeks. They focus on bringing you guys all up to date with how things began on the children and pregnancy front as well as little snippets of my life before that and what I’m going through right now.

I’ll be sharing my memories on a Monday and as you’ve guessed it will be calling this series Monday Memoirs.

As I’m sure you can tell there is a lot to get blogged there and thank goodness for my pregnancy diaries that I have referred to a lot, which has actually been quite interesting to read back on. 

I have had to dig deep in sharing some of the topics and others, which I’m still thinking whether I should share. Ofcourse it will make great reading and is maybe controversial, I like to keep things in good hunour but some things will be a little serious because many British Indian ladies don’t talk about topics so openly but I remind myself that that was part of the reason why I began to blog so I’m working on getting it all down and out there for you guys. 

So if there is anything you guys want me to talk about and share drop me a message or an email. Maybe there’s something you have always wanted to know or wondered how I dealt with a certain situation. It could be a 1 word topic or a whole story. It may surprise you that I have no reservations and will actually talk about anything. 

After all it is only by talking and sharing that we can begin to work together for an even better future.

Look forward to hearing from you all. Now back to my ice cream nom nom..

The Sunshine Blogger Award 

The Sunshine Blogger Award 

To my delightful surprise, at the weekend TheMarriageMaze nominated me for the sunshine blogger award. It was a complete surprise and I felt happy and humbled that my blog puts a smile in someone’s life.

“The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to those who inspire and bring sunshine into the lives of their readers and fellow bloggers.”

TheMarriageMaze is certainly a joy to read and I love following her adventures in finding the right one. She also came up with a few questions for her nominees to answer, here are my answers. I really enjoy answering questions like this because people get to know a bit more about me and sometimes you learn something about yourself that you may not have thought about before, so this was fun.

  1. When was the last time you cried, and why? About 2 weeks ago, it was a stress relief kinda thing. Sometimes you just have to let it go with a bit of music.
  2. Who was your last WhatsApp or text message from? It was the one and only DaddySingh, whilst I was sitting in the hospital Peadiatric Asessment Unit with E waiting to be discharged. 
  3. What did you last eat? Hummus Crisps i had in my bag with a sandwich from hospital canteen. We all know what hospital food is like, so this wasn’t too bad considering and I Kept away from the vending machine. Wooo!
  4. Do you believe in soul-mates? Yes. There is definitely someone out there that is a perfect fit with your soul.
  5. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Select a few charities to donate to like unique home for girls. Countless blessing for this lady for doing amazing sewa and then send a bunch of children that are in care and/or have special needs on an experience of a life time.
  6. If you had to eat one piece of fruit or veg, every single day for the rest of your life, what would it be?Well you know as they say, chocolate comes from a plant, cue huge grin!
  7. What’s your favourite song, (or if that’s too hard to pick) what song have you had on repeat recently?This actually changes quite frequently, ive always been a fan on Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and love going to Rahat concerts, although I missed the last 2 because no one wants to go with me, boo! Danze kuduro, Don Omar and Tokyo Drift, Teriyaki boys is on repeat these days, hehe.
  8. What’s your favourite season and why? My favourite season has to be summer when everyone is happier! All the clothes come off and the fruit is great! Just kidding about the clothes , hehe.
  9. Why did you start blogging? To share my thoughts, adventures and experiences in being a British Indian mummy and challenges with in my diverse family, even those things that people don’t talk about. 

I hope you enjoyed my answers above and learning more about me. Thank you so much to TheMarriageMaze again for the nomination.

Types of people at your childs birthday

Types of people at your childs birthday

I nearly missed E’s Birthday paath haha. If you don’t know what I’m on about, catch up here, but as I went through doing the thank you messages it got me thinking about the different types of people that came to the birthday and it’s usually the same for any event really. You know who they are, it can be predictable and sometimes completely surprising.

The early bird helpers these peeps always turn up before you. Always over enthusiastic and they make you question your enthusiasm (or lack of it…and your whole life?)

Random lovely Maaji that knows and seems to love you and wishes you all the blessings in the world. Possibly force a £5 gift in your hand. You look around for someone to give you a hint to who she is but no one’s around but this maaji is always on her way out of the gurdwara so now you’ll never know, damn.

Just in time and make an entrance. These guys just cut it super fine either they get up late, are unorganised or just know by some divine intervention exactly what time to arrive. Cue the hallo!

The late ones sometimes they have kids in tow that made them late and sometimes it because a shit load of shit happened that morning and on the way to the birthday but oh my god was it Omg, like Omg this and that happened! well better late than never eh.

The quick head butters they only stay 1 hr max. These peeps are always busy, so much to do and always multi booked with events. How popular!

Present themselves and disapear with out a trace these guys have it mastered, they position themselves so you see and greet them and make sure you know they’ve attended the ceremony but then puff! they disapear with out saying goodbye or letting you see them go. Wizard style! 

The super helpful they get stuck in the minute they arrive just like it’s their own event and their life depends on it but you don’t mind because you like them and well you could do with the help. Work monkeys work!

Babysitters and child minders they end up with the kids by choice or accident and in the end the best types because you know your kids are entertained whilst you get on with the tasks. You guys deserve a sticker AND a stamp!

The know it all you hear this person the minute they arrive because they always have an opinion and no problems expressing them. They pop out of nowhere whenever there is a situation or decision to be made and when ever you hear them in conversation they always seem to have an experience or strategy for everything. Problem solved!..maybe not.

Random staring Maaji they eye you up from across the room, analysing your every move and judging you on every action. Watch out she’ll eventually say something awkward and put you on the spot. She watches Star Plus!

The watcher they find the best spot in the place and watch everything and everyone. They won’t do anything or necessarily talk much but they definitely have observational skills. Hawk style!

The listener these people think they are natural spies acting all cool and distracted but hear everything even if they are a mile off and you were definitely whispering. MI5 don’t know what they’re missing!

The gossiper they just want the latest in everybodies business and spend the whole time getting the lowdown and spreading it around to new listeners. Blah blah blah!

The doesnt want to be there at all but is these guys HAD to come either by force or sense of duty. They don’t really interact and have no problem showing you they don’t want to be there.

The avoiders they wont speak to you until you talk to them. They act like they didn’t notice or blatantly stand in your way so you make the first move.

Random nosey Maaji comes to ask you loads of questions and randomly walks off when she loses interest but you know she’ll come back again. Aajo Aajo.

The no reason no shows THEY DIDNT RSVP, show up or courtesy let you know why. You then consider taking them off the invite list…still thinking? No your off, your OFF!

Random activist maaji that knows everything and anything political she’s on it, tells you you’re doing it all wrong and maybe even tries to take over. Cue protest “Maaji rules maaji rules”.

The stay backers they don’t get stuck in but definitely stick around to interact but just not get too involved. Tip toe tip toe!

Can you relate to my experience? Have you had different ones, share them with me I’d love to know!