The kids woke up a little earlier than usual and hubby was just leaving for work. As he left the house I decided to change the girls nappies again before having breakfast when I see hubby returning to the house rather hurriedly. Oh he’s probably forgotten something i thought and continued to dress E as P tried to help by running around and jumping on me, testing my balance in squatting position of course.
Hubby comes straight over to us and then randomly gives me a kiss and says happy anniversary!!
Oh, oh yeah happy anniversary. Oops haha!
I know, you can’t say I didn’t remember now!
Hmm yeah right, I thought. I saw you looking at your phone.
Obviously read my mind, hubby laughs, check your phone later to see who remembered.
Erm, oh was it sister in law again.
No. Well actually yeah but not the one your thinking of. See ya later.
See you later!
Later, (probably about 20 minutes later)
Checking phone, and it was a sister in law but the younger one.
You see for a few years now we have forgotten our wedding anniversary on the day. That is until we see a message from our sister in law who usually messages early in the morning. So we jokingly make it out like we never forgot, always saved by the message. This year we also got a message but it was a different sister in law.
Will we remember next year? Let see but for now a big up to the sister inlaws!!
Ive been using the elvie and really enjoy it. However its been inconsistent and although I sense a different im not seeing the real benefits of it so I have set myself a 2 week challenge. The goal is to use elvie everyday for 2 weeks and notice a real difference, but the difference here is that everyday ill post my feedback to you guys and let you know how im getting on.
Why am I doing this? Well I spent most of the afternoon in pain yesterday, took pain killers but the pain was so exhausting I was ready to collapse, especially having to push through to get things done and get theblids to bed so i can give myself some attention. Health is important and as a mum I think its important to set the right example to my girls. If I set a challenge and tell you all about it that means I will have to do it and thats a motivator. I also want to help other women, maybe to find courage to get help or even start thinking about their vaginal/gynaecological health too.
Ive already done a review so why another one? Im not just doing a review for a few clicks and shares, I want to improve my health and send out a positive and encouraging message to women and everybody actually that womens health does matter and we should talk about it. I could just do the 2 weeks and tell you at the end it was all great or not and what I thought of it but i want to do more than that, I want to share my journey and take you through the whole experience.
Why though? your probably thinking…as a society, gynaecological problems seem to be embarassing and women hesitate to talk about it for many reasons and I want to hopefully help a tiny bit to change that, because it shouldn’t be embarassing, we should be proud of what we can do with our bodies and be respected for, frankly speaking, the shit we go through/put up with, haha.
Hopefully if we can help and better ourselves we can then pave the way for future women to be confident and healthy but importantly more knowedgable about their southern areas, like pelvic floor exercises, no one told me to do them in my teens I could have done them, haha. We do have a long way to go, but every little helps.
I do find it hard though, to fit it in. Its just so easy to forget or not do it because something needs your attention or to be honest i just want to be lazy hehe and so by telling you lovely people how im getting on will make sure I do it and in turn hopefully showing me your love and support so that I know that at least its helping someone out there…
Ill post my start date and all the details in my next blog!
Quite literally. It was still early around
4am. Me and hubby were asleep but in a sort of light sleep, you know when you still seem to know your surroundings but are slowly slipping into to a deeper sleep….it was so nice a peacefully quiet, cosy and relaxed and then,
bang! tushhh! crack!
…it was so loud and sudden that we instantly woke up but both of us remained frozen still (actually we were Like playing dead incase storm troopers had marched into our home…) for a few seconds and then I shoved at hubby to go see what happened what that was, go check although i wanted to go and I mean I could but why would I want to (in tune of Selena Gomez song. Come on, I knownsome of you did it too) I did get a sort of sense of excitment though and the adrenaline rushed through but then I remembered I was too tired and still half a sleep so turned around and got comfy again….whilst hubby checked on the kids and they seemed to have amazingly slept through with out a twitch, yeah! (Now if that noise was a bag of sweets…they would be up faster than a bolt of lightening, vader wouldnt have half a chance) go figure!
I looked around the room to see if I could see anything, still in a sleepy state, as if I was gunna figure it out like that, but I felt like I contributed. Maybe its a wierd sleep type reasoning, haha.
DaddySingh came back in a rather casual way and looked around just like I did but just with my eyes. Mummy skills there! and tell him ive already done that!
He frowns looking confused, I can sense he’s probably cursing me and then gives me a look.
…And then I ask him for the 3rd time, what was it?
Oh the window broke casualy whilst getting back into bed. Obviously decided its not serious enough to deal with….
What? How? Where?
Think a bird hit it, from the… zzzzzzz
A bird, I think to myself. From the what? I didnt hear no bird. But the window, how badly is it broken. Shall i go have a look? Will all the cold come in now? Wait what window did he say? Bird. Omg bird! Is the bird ok?….shall i check on the bird and make sure tha…zzzzzzz!
A few hours later Am wakes me up to get ready for the pogh and still in heavy sleep i drag myself out of bed. Really should have gone to bed earlier and then getting woken up by a bird hitting a window. Oh yeah so i go out tonhave a look and imediately see the hall way wondow smashed from the outside….turns out there was no logical reason other than it cracked under the pressure of the heat. Definitely no bird and my random theory that maybe our neighbour was using bottle smashing as therapy from toddler parenting didnt last long. Anyway smashed window remains a mystery. Any ideas?! Haha.
The following 2 hrs were crazy with breakfast, nappy changes, getting ready, hubby moaning that im taking too long to fet ready, snacks for kids, nappy change again, and jua5 before we leave we find out the roads were closed and town was in grid lock. Panic struck, with the hubby anyway. I for some reason I believed it would all be fine. Positive thinking!
finally we got in the car……
Hubby was annoyed. It was all my fault i took 30 mins as opposed to the usual 20 mins to get ready and that 10 mins messed everything up, apparently. I pointed out a few things back to him but he was prepared he had it all figured out he had thought about it and was ready for anything I would say…it was pointless, so fuck it. let him moan I thought. Its the only way as I calmly look for my hand cream.
Straight away we were in traffic…the diversion was in grid lock too and hubby was stressing as we had 20 mins to the pogh time and we werent even close. He was spinning the around like a fast and furious scene. The girls in the back were loving the ‘ride’ and thought it was funny, whilst I calmly mositurised my hands. At which DaddySingh suddenly takes a sharp bend and put his foot down giving me a look.
Now really anoyed, swearing and reminding me i took an extra 10 mins I casualy say is there another diversion we could take?
Hubbly replies, This IS the diversion…like im stupid.
I know that, I mean maybe off the beaton track sort of route.
Hubby decided not to say anything….obviously he didnt know the answer but was definitely thinking about what I said and whether there was another route…haha.
We aproach a roundabout and on current route we still had 40 mins to go but the pogh was in 15 mins and suddenly hubby goes
Fuck it and spins to the right down a side road. Weeeeee giggles P in the back and then suddenly the satnav shows we are moving further and further away from our destination and hubby’s frustration increases ever more.
Iritated with his frustration I firmly tell him to calm down and to just just see where it takes us and we aproach the end take a left to another roundabout and decide to go straight ahead. Suddenly we are around the corner to the Gurdwara, the satnav still says 13 mons to go and there was no traffic around but we got there in 6 mins and slammed the car on to the corner of the block that the Gurdwara was on.
Daddysingh took a deep breath but still stressed and I was thrilled so went for a high 5 but didnt get one back so obviously the joy wasn’t shared….takes him a bit longer to calm I guess. We get out and walk into the divaan at 11.05 where the GianiJi looks at us with that aage, time lag gea look! And begins the pogh. Phew!
Today is St Patrick’s day and it reminded me of my trip to Ireland back at uni for my mates 21st birthday. A group of us girls decided to go. I personally knew I probably won’t be allowed so one weekend I went home to somehow inform them I was going. This was a couple of weeks before the trip my mum was busy in the kitchen over the deep fat fryer. So I decided that this was best time to tell her that I won’t be coming home for that weekend as it’s Nikki’s Birthday and we are all going to Dublin for a weekend to celebrate. My mum not really listening said that is fine and so that was that really and I went back to uni with my passport.
Come the weekend my mum rang superstitously questioning why I wasn’t coming home. She must have known she didn’t hear properly and went off on one for me taking advantage of the situation she was in. That wasn’t really the case in my defense i thought and after that 20 minutes phone call she hung up and i carried on withbmy assigbment ibhd to finish before going. She then rang back after 10 minutes querying my passport and that I can’t go without it, to which I informed her that I already had it and not to worry but of course that brought on another telling off, including one from my dad. You see we kept all of the passports together in one place in them days and all knew where they were if needed but my parents weren’t impressed on realising I took it with out “permission” even though it’s my passport and my legal right to do with what ever I wish, It was more of the principal.
So off we went to have an awesome weekend and came back to my family acting out some hostility, which was short lived upon them realising that it wasn’t really a big of a deal, I hadn’t actually come home a rebel and after receiving a few presents (of course) I was having parathas. Haha.
For me this actually highlights the importance of building trust and a level of confidence with your children so that they are able to comfortably come to you when they have something on their minds. With kids of my own I would like them to be able to tell me whatever and share their experiences knowing that I won’t be giving them a very desi reaction.
Fun times though.
You enter the Gurdwara with your new born and there is plenty of sangat around. You know most of them or at least they know who you are and before you can take your shoes off and head towards the divan all the Maaji’s scurry over bursting to see the baby, as if the smell of a newborn baby had wafted through the gurdwara and alerted all the ladies of the arrival just like honey to a bee. With out wasting any time and sometimes before the Maaji’s even get to you the questions pour out:
1. Kee aayea (is it a boy or girl?) Girl…chal koini, kaneya ae ah! Dont worry about it, pitty on you and then bless you with a future son.
Boy…vadaiya! Best thing ever, the maaji’s over spill in joy and tell you tera kaam hogea (Your work is done!). Best thing to do is to keep remembering you have a gift from God, boy or girl they are both precious and just as important.
2. Hon dehr naa kari/Shetti banaa li?
Don’t delay, make baby today! (Yep, you said it in an Indian accent. I know you did!!) Basically telling you that you have 1 now, so have another while your at it because your child needs a sibling and it’s better when they are closer together in age and apparently easier. Don’t give juwaab trust me it’s not worth it, just smile and say Hanji Hanji!
3. Rondi taani. (She doesnt cry does she?)
no, she was born with fully developed vocal cords and is able to speak and tell me exactly what she needs, and that too in Punjabi and English. Haha, of course babies cry. They can’t speak so that’s their way of communicating. You will hear a few stories of so and so had a baby that always/or never cried but they mean no harm here and will just bombard you with helpful advise, whether you want it or not. Just stay calm and say Hanji, thank you!
4. Raat nu utdi taani? (She doesn’t wake up at night does she?)
If your answer is No, Maaji goes straight on to next question . If your answer is Yes, Maaji expresses concern,”ucha, Chall koini, babies do that! Followed by a tonne of their own baby waking up stories. Best way to deal with it is smile and say Hanji, thank you!
5. Aapna dudh palondi ah? Do you breastfeed?
Either way the maaji’s come out with their own opinions and stories. Just remember what ever you choose it is your decision so just smile and say Hanji, thank you!
6. Shetti bottle te laadi?
Give her the bottle quickly, because sweety they don’t take it other wise and that’ll be a pain to deal with.
Whatever you choose to do, it’s your decision and your experience. Advice is great but don’t judge the mummy’s if they don’t want to use a bottle. Oh and Hanji Hanji!
7. Kede te gae ah? Who does he/she take after?
Before you have a chance to even respond they will then tell you who the baby looks like and praise or even dismiss and tell you don’t worry they will change! In some cases they won’t say anything and walk off. Yep, ha!
8. Delivery normal si ya opretion naal?
Was it a natural birth or Caesarian? Again followed by stories and wish you a great recovery and give you tips on what to do/not to do with your body for the first few weeks.
9. kede te gaeya? Who does he/she look like She looks like a squished up tiny human at the moment, but they always know or think they know and will openly express their opinion. Also If maaji’s perceive you or any member of the family with outstanding features they will ask you does he/she have that feature.
( I have coloured eyes so this seems to be a huge focus on my kids)
one of the first things I had was this followed by attempts to get the baby to open her eyes and then decide for themselves whether she has the eyes or not. Well she was born yday, eyes take about a year to develop and well, really? Does it really matter enough to disturb my baby? No! Get away from my sleeping baby and don’t touch her eyes with your subji fingers, haha!
Sometimes it can be over whelming and others might be completely fine with all the questions. Everyone’s experience and feelings are different and all the Maaji’s mean well. You will see the funny side of it later but don’t forget to take a deep breathe, smile and say Hanji, thank you!
Hanji solves everything!!
It was late, silent and dark. It was time ….both children were sleeping and husband was in bed, I knew this was the moment. It was now or never! I jumped in long strides like a ninja out of the room. Avoiding those noisy areas of the floor that would certainly wake the kids up and quietly ran to the bathroom. Switching on the blue spa lights that made the bathroom feel so relaxing just like the spa or steam room at the gym, only there’s no steam just yet and it was dark and strangely romantic. Just the way I like it.
I switched on the rainfall shower and the boiler makes a noise, that’s when DaddySingh knows I’m in the shower in the middle of the night. The water gushed out and splashed the bottom and turned hot quickly whilst changing colours above the bath lights. I lit my favourite rainforest candle to set the mood and threw my clothes off with a quick listen at the door to make sure baby hasn’t woken up. I’m sure he’ll handle it if she does, I think to myself with a little giggle.
I stepped in to the hot shower, cold where the water first hit the bottom and quickly moved closer in where it was nice and warm. I shut my eyes turned and stood underneath the hot waterfall and began my mindfulness (just like the “yes yes” lady. You know herbal essence advert, wink wink).
The hot water droplets hit my body like a waterfall as I lather up the shower gel and massage into my body. All the mummy stress began to melt away…If only Superman or even Batman (oh yes!) was here to massage these shoulders, right under the waterfall deep in the middle of a rainforest, grinning to myself and starting to feeling happy and relaxed ‘mmmm…”
I let my imagination run wild, deep with in the forest with those big strong hands on my shoulders…
Suddenly, I hear a noise I turned back into the room now all hot and steamed up, and looked at the door hoping it was nothing and I can get right back to where I was but I see the door handle moving down. Oh no.
Ah, Maybe it’s superman and my dreams have come true, haha! But no, I see DaddySingh peek through the door, yeah that’ll do I laughed to myself with his eyes half closed and a slight grin to his face. What was he thinking? Maybe he’ll join me? Hot steamy shower with my hubby…he comes in slowly as I continue to enjoy the water hitting the back of my neck hard and giving me a sense of calm.
I step to the side of the shower screen and he slowly walks in looking all sleepy and sexy. Hmm he looks cute, maybe he’s thinking the same thing? He definitely knew what I was thinking as his grin enlargens and his eyes now a bit more awake with a cheeky glint suggesting let’s make the most of it whilst the kids are sleeping. Yep this is gunna be fun but right then I see a tiny foot, then a leg and suddenly in his arms was a very sleepy crying but grinning baby looking at me, they both then glance at each other just as if sharing the same joke ‘Let’s go get mummy’!
She woke up, the baby woke up!
Oh Fiteh Moo! I thought in my head. Although I’m sure my lips moved to some degree.
I remembered the threat he gave me a few days ago whilst having breakfast in the kitchen “watch, I will do it” he said as I laughed to show him I wasn’t the slightest concerned and didn’t think he really would. He hates the fact that I choose this ungodly hour to have my dreamy showers and always threatens me that he’ll bring the baby to me in the bathroom whilst I shower if she wakes up for a breastfeed and that’s exactly what he did and he was proud of it, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he walks back out with baby leaving the door wide open to let the cold air gush in and force me out the shower.
I can still feel the grin stretching off his face back into the bathroom as he walked in to our bedroom with the baby radiating a sense of victory. So proud of himself. I will get him back though!
Showers to me are like those cups of tea/coffee (or maybe something stronger for you lovable alcoholics) moments we mummies enjoy when ever our children and the dads let us.
DaddySingh. He just doesn’t get it, but Midnight Showers, it’s my thing! I knew it was too good to be true though and maybe next time, I should concentrate on doing Waheguru Waheguru and then I won’t get disturbed!? After all the almighty Waheguru is more important than batman right? hehe!
So how did your Valentine’s Day go?
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