Last week I became a Mombie

I was looking forward to some time to myself with both girls at nursery, I had so much planned and organised. I thought it was all going to plan with shopping, birthday organising and some me time with a bit of working out at the gym but then… the girls came home with temperatures on the Friday just before the weekend!

DaddySingh brought them in, E soundly sleeping in her car seat and P all cranky and crying, one look at her and I knew it. Tired eyes, red swollen cheeks, hot and in ‘thug’ mode. Yup Threenagers are good at this.

That evening was then filled with many tantrums, dinner refusals, throwing things and crying, crying and lots of crying plus the completely chaotic bed time.

I have to admit the silence after they finally got to sleep was golden, I quickly, well more like a tiptoe jogingly leaped into the kitchen and put the kettle on but the oh joy was short lived as E kept waking up with difficulty breathing and soring temperatures. On top of that she insisted breastfeeding through the night.

That was difficult as we were weaning out and reached 1 breastfeed at night and then suddenly she was feeding constantly, yeah serious boob confusion.

The following morning was so difficult as P and E both needed tlc, medicine and lots of attention.

I was up most of the nights feeding and caring for E and most of the breastfeeds were in a strange sleep state and before I knew it it was time to be up and have breakfast.

E could do nothing but cry because she is so little and doesn’t talk yet and P was acting out and refusing nap time, eventually a took her up whilst she tried to back flip out of my arms and grab everything on the way. She was then completely sound asleep within 10 minutes, kids!

This continued for the whole week and both of them missed out on nursery but that allowed them, yes THEM to fully recover, I on the other hand have no idea how I’m still functioning. On the nights I spent walking E around in her pram to try and settle her to sleep and knew she would only last a short time I decided to catch up on Game of Thrones and dive in to my chocolate…thank goodness for Game of Thrones! Cue, huge teethy grin.

P recovered faster but did decide to step up her threenager -isms this week too and it was anything and anywhere. At home, supermarkets, on the road, you name it.

At the supermarket, it was all going so well and I was packing whilst P was happily engaging with the cashier and helping out in her own way, we were almost done but then suddenly P breaks in to tears and the whole supermarket seemed to go quiet (you know what I mean, like everyone’s trying to get on with their business but actually listening and pretending not to look your way)

What’s wrong P?

No!

Whilst letting out a loud cry.

So now cashier is trying to get her attention too and a few passers-by whilst she tries to wipes her face which now is all wet from the tears.

What happened P, can you tell mummy with your words?

Waaaaaaaa!

As we try and say good bye,

I wanna get down! Down! Wanna get down!

Now!!!

and we head to the car park leaving a silent supermarket behind us…

These toddlers’ are unpredictable so Beware seriously BEWARE but all that is minor because this has a huge impact on mums too and extremely challenging and testing on inner calm, so a mum with no sleep or rest with toddler and baby is a zombie mummy or Mombie you just don’t wanna mess with.

9 things MaaJi’s always say to new mums

You enter the Gurdwara with your new born and there is plenty of sangat around. You know most of them or at least they know who you are and before you can take your shoes off and head towards the divan all the Maaji’s scurry over bursting to see the baby, as if the smell of a newborn baby had wafted through the gurdwara and alerted all the ladies of the arrival just like honey to a bee. With out wasting any time and sometimes before the Maaji’s even get to you the questions pour out:

 

1. Kee aayea (is it a boy or girl?) Girlchal koini, kaneya ae ah! Dont worry about it, pitty on you and then bless you with a future son.
Boy
vadaiya! Best thing ever, the maaji’s over spill in joy and tell you tera kaam hogea (Your work is done!). Best thing to do is to keep remembering you have a gift from God,  boy or girl they are both precious and just as important.

2. Hon dehr naa kari/Shetti banaa li?
Don’t delay, make baby today! (Yep, you said it in an Indian accent. I know you did!!) Basically telling you that you have 1 now, so have another while your at it because your child needs a sibling and it’s better when they are closer together in age and apparently easier. Don’t give juwaab trust me it’s not worth it, just smile and say Hanji Hanji!

3. Rondi taani. (She doesnt cry does she?)
no, she was born with fully developed vocal cords and is able to speak and tell me exactly what she needs, and that too in Punjabi and English. Haha, of course babies cry. They can’t speak so that’s their way of communicating. You will hear a few stories of so and so had a baby that always/or never cried but they mean no harm here and will just bombard you with helpful advise, whether you want it or not. Just stay calm and say Hanji, thank you!

4. Raat nu utdi taani? (She doesn’t wake up at night does she?)
If your answer is No, Maaji goes straight on to next question . If your answer is Yes, Maaji expresses concern,”ucha, Chall koini, babies do that! Followed by a tonne of their own baby waking up stories. Best way to deal with it is smile and say Hanji, thank you!

5. Aapna dudh palondi ah? Do you breastfeed?
Either way the maaji’s come out with their own opinions and stories. Just remember what ever you choose it is your decision so just smile and say Hanji, thank you!

6. Shetti bottle te laadi?
Give her the bottle quickly, because sweety they don’t take it other wise and that’ll be a pain to deal with.
Whatever you choose to do, it’s your decision and your experience. Advice is great but don’t judge the mummy’s if they don’t want to use a bottle. Oh and Hanji Hanji!

7. Kede te gae ah? Who does he/she take after?
Before you have a chance to even respond they will then tell you who the baby looks like and praise or even dismiss and tell you don’t worry they will change! In some cases they won’t say anything and walk off. Yep, ha!

8. Delivery normal si ya opretion naal?
Was it a natural birth or Caesarian? Again followed by stories and wish you a great recovery and give you tips on what to do/not to do with your body for the first few weeks.

9. kede te gaeya? Who does he/she look like She looks like a squished up tiny human at the moment, but they always know or think they know and will openly express their opinion.  Also If maaji’s perceive you or any member of the family with outstanding features they will ask you does he/she have that feature.

( I have coloured eyes so this seems to be a huge focus on my kids)
one of the first things I had was this followed by attempts to get the baby to open her eyes and then decide for themselves whether she has the eyes or not. Well she was born yday, eyes take about a year to develop and well, really? Does it really matter enough to disturb my baby? No! Get away from my sleeping baby and don’t touch her eyes with your subji fingers, haha!

Sometimes it can be over whelming and others might be completely fine with all the questions. Everyone’s experience and feelings are different and all the Maaji’s mean well. You will see the funny side of it later but don’t forget to take a deep breathe, smile and say Hanji, thank you!

Hanji solves everything!!

Midnight showers. A hot steamy night….

Midnight showers. A hot steamy night….

It was late, silent and dark. It was time ….both children were sleeping and husband was in bed, I knew this was the moment. It was now or never! I jumped in long strides like a ninja out of the room. Avoiding those noisy areas of the floor that would certainly wake the kids up and quietly ran to the bathroom. Switching on the blue spa lights that made the bathroom feel so relaxing just like the spa or steam room at the gym, only there’s no steam just yet and it was dark and strangely romantic. Just the way I like it.

I switched on the rainfall shower and the boiler makes a noise, that’s when DaddySingh knows I’m in the shower in the middle of the night.  The water gushed out and splashed the bottom and turned hot quickly whilst changing colours above the bath lights. I lit my favourite rainforest candle to set the mood and threw my clothes off with a quick listen at the door to make sure baby hasn’t woken up. I’m sure he’ll handle it if she does, I think to myself with a little giggle. 

I stepped in to the hot shower, cold where the water first hit the bottom and quickly moved closer in where it was nice and warm. I shut my eyes turned and stood underneath the hot waterfall and began my mindfulness (just like the “yes yes” lady. You know herbal essence advert, wink wink).

The hot water droplets hit my body like a waterfall as I lather up the shower gel and massage into my body.  All the mummy stress began to melt away…If only Superman or even Batman (oh yes!) was here to massage these shoulders, right under the waterfall deep in the middle of a rainforest, grinning to myself and starting to feeling happy and relaxed ‘mmmm…” 

I let my imagination run wild, deep with in the forest with those big strong hands on my shoulders…

Suddenly, I hear a noise I turned back into the room now all hot and steamed up, and looked at the door hoping it was nothing and I can get right back to where I was but I see the door handle moving down. Oh no.

Ah, Maybe it’s superman and my dreams have come true, haha! But no, I see DaddySingh peek through the door, yeah that’ll do I laughed to myself with his eyes half closed and a slight grin to his face. What was he thinking? Maybe he’ll join me? Hot steamy shower with my hubby…he comes in slowly as I continue to enjoy the water hitting the back of my neck hard and giving me a sense of calm. 

I step to the side of the shower screen and he slowly walks in looking all sleepy and sexy. Hmm he looks cute, maybe he’s thinking the same thing? He definitely knew what I was thinking as his grin enlargens and his eyes now a bit more awake with a cheeky glint suggesting let’s make the most of it whilst the kids are sleeping. Yep this is gunna be fun but right then I see a tiny foot, then a leg and suddenly in his arms was a very sleepy crying but grinning baby looking at me, they both then glance at each other just as if sharing the same joke ‘Let’s go get mummy’! 

She woke up, the baby woke up! 

Oh Fiteh Moo! I thought in my head. Although I’m sure my lips moved to some degree.

I remembered the threat he gave me a few days ago whilst having breakfast in the kitchen “watch, I will do it” he said as I laughed to show him I wasn’t the slightest concerned and didn’t think he really would.  He hates the fact that I choose this ungodly hour to have my dreamy showers and always threatens me that he’ll bring the baby to me in the bathroom whilst I shower if she wakes up for a breastfeed and that’s exactly what he did and he was proud of it, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he walks back out with baby leaving the door wide open to let the cold air gush in and force me out the shower.

 I can still feel the grin stretching off his face back into the bathroom as he walked in to our bedroom with the baby radiating a sense of victory.  So proud of himself.  I will get him back though! 

Showers to me are like those cups of tea/coffee (or maybe something stronger for you lovable alcoholics) moments we mummies enjoy when ever our children and the dads let us. 

DaddySingh. He just doesn’t get it, but Midnight Showers, it’s my thing! I knew it was too good to be true though and maybe next time, I should concentrate on doing Waheguru Waheguru and then I won’t get disturbed!? After all the almighty Waheguru is more important than batman right? hehe!

So how did your Valentine’s Day go?

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It’s 2016

A Happy New year to you all, we are definitely hitting the ground running this year with plenty of exciting things I’m looking forward to sharing with you all; Birthdays, weddings, parties, religious events and cultural festivals.

January is a busy month for me and my family as its Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s Gurpurab as well as poornmassi.

Culturally we will be celebrating Lohri this year as we had 2 new born babies in the family, one of which is my baby girl. What is Lohri? How and why do we celebrate this and how do I balance this between culture and Sikhi as well as the issues around Gender bias.

In the mean time we have abandoned potty training resulting from a crazy week and also I’ll be sharing my breast feeding journey with you guys this month.

Enjoy your first week back everyone!