Things that remind me that im a British Indian mummy…
- You get a stain on your salwar kameez (indian suit) before you have even left the house. Could be turmeric, could be tomatoe sauce but your creative dupputa (scarf) settings skills kick in and just pray no one notices.
- You think twice before you put your red lipstick on when going out with your kids. Lip lock, you failed me and cracked up my lips!
- You finally get to the venue and feel like you need a shower and start again but your kids look all polished, shiney and oh so sweet and innocent. Why why why meee!
- The state of your chunni makes you look like you really haven’t got a clue what your doing. Then that maaji shouts out don’t you know how to set your dupputa? Is she (so and so’s) daughter in law? A range of profanity hits your mind but like a pro, just act cool and say hanji!
- You get to the gurdwara/venue and your children want prashaad/food immediately! Like they never get fed at home.
- Your little one will only eat dhaal, yoghurt, roti and rice or a combination of these. Where ever u go.
- There’s something wrong with the dhaal. It’s not the right dhaal, maybe it smells different or isn’t yellow enough?! Who knows but they are not going to eat it because you know it’s not the ‘dhaal dhaal’…
- Your little one doesn’t eat roti. What’s roti? Ah did you mean a rosti?
- You consider letting your child go hungry, they cant keep doing this, they have to eat at some point, maybe they’ll give up and eat soon…and then maaji shouts out all the wrong alternatives and yup, out comes the back up food…chips! Noooo, oh forget it just eat!
- Your daughters salwar/trousers keep falling and suddenly the floor is being swept clean. Who needs a broom!
- You have only been at the function 10 minutes and your little boys joori/hair is all over the place. Didn’t you combe his hair?
- Head scarf/Chunni is a toy and not to cover your head with. ok, maybe just for the first 5 minutes, then we will swing it around! You now feel judged and that maaji makes you feel like an irresponsible mum.
- Maaji (with good intentions) comes to your aid as a magic pacifier and gets offended when fails because your child really doesn’t know them and isn’t listening to anyone no matter who you are, especially random Maaji. Maaji is surprised and walks away muttering but you know she’ll come back for another go, and maybe even pull out a lollipop.
Have you experienced any of these or do you have your own moments that remind you of being mummy in around an Indian culture?
Disclaimer. Honestly I have nothing against Maaji’s and no Maaji was hurt in the events of these experiences. That I know of…
Part 2 coming soon