“I’m really sorry”

That next hour or so was a difficult one, deciding whether to take medical management or just wait was awful. 

The expert advice was to go with medical management to help start the miscarriage, but I still had a conscience. I went over and over it in my head, how can I do that to our baby, even though the baby had died. It felt immoral the facts, our feelings, our religious beliefs, my personal opinion, it all mattered. I still felt like I would be murdering a child, our child. 

I went back the next day for a second scan to check it was all true and that there really wasn’t a heart beat because if I decided to take the pill it had be on the basis that there was no heaetbeat, no soul, no life.

I then got told at work I was likely to loose my Job, but I had a week off booked which was supposed to be a week in Greece, we decided not to go and deal with our loss.

I could leave it all to nature but then the consultant said there were risks for me with things like blood clots or take the pill and stay in hospital for observations. Still though taking that pill would be a big deal but we had to decide and I still wasn’t sure.

Image source: I. W. Gregorio


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