Lanzarote was a weather risk and everyone kept telling us it would be cold now so we did pack a jumper or two just incase but to be honest, we decided that getting away regardless of the weather was the main thing. 

That week in Lanzarote though, I kid you not, was the hottest they had had in a late November for years. We actually felt like we were being blessed with such a great place and the beach was absolutely awesome. We did nothing but chill and eat, haha! 

The bleeding actually stopped (finally) and I felt I was on the mend. The only physical reminder I had was my round belly.

When we got back to the UK it was cold and depressing, so that week in Lanzarote felt even more special and definitely aided in healing my body. 

I didn’t get any more bleeding after coming back and I went back to work the following day with a lot to catch up on. This was a positive as hitting the ground running helps keep your mind off of things. 

A follow up with the doctor gave me the all clear, they also said you can try again whenever you’re ready. On the other hand some say it’s best to wait a certain length to allow your body to heal fully. We decided to leave it and get on top of my health and nutrition and with that I started training at the gym. 

Christmas time came and went, me and hubby were definitely back in the fitness game, well hubby was always on it but I was taking smaller steps, so got in touch with my personal fitness trainer and got stuck right into it. 

At first it was really tough, I hate repetition so my personal trainer mixed it up with things I found more fun like boxing and made the session unpredictable. 

I was doing really well and a few months later hubby and I decided we could give it another go soon on the baby front. We had only just decided and puff! (…yep there was a wand involved, haha) I missed a period. We were expecting and decided to see how it goes before we broke the news. 

Soon though hubby felt comfortable with anouncing to the family about pregnancy but I really didn’t want to. We talked about it for days and eventually I thought ok it’s not long till the first scan so fine but still I wasnt 100% happy with it. why? I think for me I just wanted to get past the first scan and know things were ok this time. Everybody is different though you should go with what you feel is right. 

So the announcement was made and most people were happy and looking forward to the baby.  Hubby and I were grateful but remained grounded though as we knew any thing can happen.

Blimey though, news flew across the nation with what felt like wild fire and everybody knew in a matter of days, especially on a particular Sunday at the gurdwara. Everyone was waiting to meet the ‘head priest’ and it was seen as important to get their blessings. I respect this totally, still wasnt happy about it though. afterward the blessings though I felt something in my tummy whilst still getting congratulated by a load of people. Maybe it was an anxious feeling? Or butterflies? But it was more like a shortening/shrinking feeling, a bit strange. By then though everyone was leaving or having langhar, as we had already had some langhar we decided to head back home. 

Ok, people may have been excited or just wanted to spread the news but in no exaggeration it felt a bit over the top, for me anyway. I let it go though, because of course they didnt know about the first time. I focused on not stressing out and with that we booked to go to Greece as we would be in safe zone for traveling after the scan and it would be something nice to look forward to, especially the warm weather.

The cravings were out of this world and morning sicknes was horrible. I was feeling sick all day long as well as whilst I was sleeping, so ginger ale became my Saviour. Hubby would bring me dry crackers and tea first thing in morning, so I would have energy to actually get out of bed because literally I couldn’t move I was so stiff and nauseated. 

Being at work became very hard especially at lunch times with the smells, yuk! So I would go get some fresh air, have lots of snacks at hand.

The day of the scan came around. As we waited in the reception area, we talked about what happened before and what we went through. We quickly decided to stay positive and just see what happens.

We observed other parents in the room, you know people watching. Some avoiding any kind of eye contact with anyone, a few busy with older children, few looking around to ensure no one they knew was here (Yeah we did that too haha) and others smiling in a sort of commonality that we are all in the same boat right now, …and with that we were called for our turn, we got up and followed the midwife around the corner.

We went through the usual medical checks and got settled on the bed, which I find so unsettling because I didn’t want to lie down. I wanted to be sitting and feel purposeful and this felt the complete opposite and there was the fact that I would very likely fall sleep.

My tummy feeling cold with the ultrasound gel, we watched our baby on the screen and waited…


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