We will not sleep! 

Last night was supposed to be dinner, story and then bedtime. Had the evening to myself so planned a beautiful cup of tea and catchup on one of my favourite shows, The Vampire Diaries. Yes I watch TVD, what?! Lalalaaaa… but no, the girls had other ideas!! Hubby went out for the evening and all was going as planned. Suddenly E threw her sandwiches in the air and P followed suit and thats where it all began. 

Should have seen it coming but sometimes it just hits you like a water balloon in your face. 

Girls decided it was more fun to watch shimmer and shine and NOT help mummy tidy up the mess, so the TV went off and the tantrums switched on. After loads of positive reinforcement the girls ‘helped’ clean up and most of that involved  P directing and supervising, such a boss! With E picking up the tiny pile and rearranging in to a mess in the other side. 

The evening continued with spinning around and bumping in to each other and crying when they got hurt and then laughing at each other when mummy gave the ‘eye’. Yes the eye, I perfected it I promise but only pull out to full eye when really needed! Have to save it for full impact hahaha! This wasn’t a full impact but it was closer, very very close!

Bedtime routine involved loads of screaming and squeals as they wrestled and turned ‘not getting in to pyjamas and brushing our teeth’ into a game. So I brushed my teeth with them, you know what they say if you cant beat them join them and in the end we had a wet bathroom with water everywhere because they both wanted to clean their faces at the same time and had to push each other out of the way. 

Getting them back in control and calmed down we had our story time followed by the count down. That is when they know bedtime is seriously here and mummy is not to be messed with! Although they still try, after all life is too short so gotta stretch bedtime where ever we can! Grrr! Haha.

P was down and E well, she was having none of it, seriously fought back with a vengeance so I took her back down so P wouldnt wake up but before I knew it P was out of her room and telling me she done a poo. She hadn’t done a poo she just wanted to come down. After trying to negotiate with me about how she needs to stay up with E she said she needs a wee so I let her sit on the potty and E joined us in the bathroom for half an hour of nursery rhymes when finally P hit the target (potty) with a wee and we went down to start bedtime routine all over again. 

Before I knew it P was telling me why she shouldn’t go to bed yet and wanted to stay up. Whilst listening I went to get their milks and they both decided it was super fun to imagine the sofa as a trampoline and before you know it a heard a smash and turned in to see them both on the floor crying with their hands to their heads. Yep, they banged heads and fell off the sofa. Restraining my self from laughing I expressed sympathy with a huge grin. P saw through me and immediately stopped crying and sat back on the sofa, crossed her arms and told me it wasn’t funny.  They both went to bed with in 5 minutes though because mummy did the count down…

P went down fine but E had other ideas and tried to baby slam dunk me followed by hulk hogans big leg move, bouncing up and down and attempting to flip over me to escape the ring (bed). Finally after persistence, she was knocked out and so was I. That didn’t last long though as E kept waking up hungry for milk, so being shattered and unable to move, I nudged hubby, who was home by now, to get a bottle, whilst I tried to keep eshjot in sleep state, just didn’t want her fully waking up. That happened about 3 times and hubby got annoyed, especially as I half kicked him out of bed with instructions, cue evil laugh. I laugh as I write this because it’s so hilarious. He will get me back though, so better watch my back, bahahahaaa!!

I woke up the following morning fully dressed (well that’s a first), so much for catching up on The Vampire Diaries. 

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Over the 3rd Hill…

It was my birthday a few days ago, being on a weekday though there wasn’t too much planned but I met a friend for lunch at a new place in town and spent the evening with the kids and hubby. We finished the evening with a movie and of course cake. It was seriously a huge portion of cake so I decided to save it for the next day. 

Over the years my viewpoint on birthdays has changed. Not sure if that’s a natural progression of age or not. Before, many moons ago, it was the usual family get together with candles and all the trimmings, however this year I opted to just take the chilled out approach and as it was a work day we couldn’t plan much anyway plus the kids routine and bedtime is really important to us. 

We did opt for an Indian takeaway because I didn’t feel like cooking  (not that I cook anyway hahaha) and efinitely didn’t want pizza. What? No pizza yup, we have a tradition of celebrating with pizza BUT me and hubby being a bunch of health needs these days did that earlier in the week and although I could do it twice, variety is spice of life as they say. 

I did forget to take a picture of my meal, darn! Follow me on instagram to see all my food pics. Yumm Yumm.

The time we had a treat! 

The time we had a treat! 

Even though I managed to seriously annoy hubby yesterday (hehe), so much so that when i touched him i got a spark of electricity! And It really hurt!! 

we still went for a huge treat…

Like a hero though, I actually ate the whole thing! I did give amrit a piece though, just to be nice. 

The quesadila was so yummy and seriously filling. No need or room for dessert.

On the bad side though I was so full my stomach hurt for ages and I was shopping around rubbing my belly. Amrit said you look like a pregnant lady so may be you should stop.

I did refuse because I was in so much pain even though i was sticking my belly out far too much l, bloated n all. As we passed the chairs the seated people were looking someone will end up giving you their seat in a minute, hahaha. 

Finally I went home and had a gorgeous hot cup of miny tea and felt so much better. 

Lesson of the day: Don’t eat with your eyes! 

The Angry goddess

The Angry goddess

Haww see it is the maata. Everyone looks at me in shock and concern. Yeah it’s the mata I was afraid of this. We must take her to doctor but also find out what we need to do.

Oh please it’s just a virus.

No no you are still young and you know nothing yet. maata has entered your home and body. She is angry and thats why you have spots all over your body, so we must do the right thing to please her.

So they say the things we have to do are….

The voices fade slightly as I begin to think about what my family just said, but it doesn’t make any sense. What angry goddess, maata? Is this even true and even if it is should we be believing this?

….We will need to take a few things to offer to the deity so she can pray and ask for forgiveness….

Didn’t Guru Nanaksar Dev Ji say to not to do idol worshiping and superstition had no benefits?

So many questions and no one really knew the answer and when I questioned it, I was told to be quiet or this is what they do. So it seemed as all I was hearing was they say, they say, they say, this alone was a reason for doubt (in my 9 year old view anyway). For starters who the hell is they?

The family members continued to discuss and share their knowledge on what needed to be done and as I re-engaged with itching the rash…

Stop scratching you will get scarred! Then who will marry you….

…Erm.

That was a memory I was recalling to my husband as we sat in our holiday apartment in London. We were there for my cousins wedding but the day before the actual wedding P came out with chicken pox. Although it was going around we didn’t anticipate it would happen at this moment in time.

DaddySingh couldn’t remember his experience with chicken pox, so his mum filled me in with the details whilst I shared my stories, as you do! He did however do the obvious Google research as did I a few moments earlier just to check all medical information when he goes you can’t go to the wedding now so we better let your family know.

Damn, the wedding I forgot about that! Ugh I guess we’ll be stuck in the apartment for 2 days then. Actually you can still go to the wedding daddysingh!

Oh! Yeah I suppose I could go and enjoy myself still. Cue cheeky grin

Chicken pox also medically  known as the varicella-zoster virus, is a mild and common childhood disease although adults can get it too but generally 90% of adults are immune if they have had them before. Please refer to the nhs website for detailed medical advise.  During those 2 weeks though, when I had chicken pox I learnt all the myths and superstitions on it and when P got them it all came back to mind because they are still followed even now!

We returned home after the 2 days and had a few relatives visit to check on P and of course share their stories and advise on ‘cures’. This is something I had already preempted from my experience and growing up with my desi family.

In india it is considered that mata, an angry goddess has entered your body, so in order to appease her, many rituals and prayers are undertaken so that she leaves the body. I could not find many sources on this but this blog goes into it in more detail. With this in mind I was taken to the mandir where the pandit performed his ritual followed by prayer and we were given prashaad, blessed food. Oh and we rang the bell, that was the fun part, for my child self. I did continue to argue though that the whole process was simply a blind act or blind following (you know the monkey experiment) because following with out explanation or understanding is offensive and fruitless, which of course fell on deaf ears. However The visit to the lovely mandir was an educational experience.

This is no disrespect or mockery to Hindus or Mandirs or any religion here whatsover but I did not believe in the mata idea as everything was a contradiction to Sikhi, none of it was making sense to me.  However after doing a bit of research I have learn’t that the belief behind the mata stories come from the ancient texts of Devi Mahatyam, where a goddess killed a disease spreading demon and purified the blood in infected people (very brief description here), further more taking medication is/was deemed to aggravate the demon, so a spiritual leader is requested to undertake prayers and rituals.

Did you know though, some of these have scientific reasons for helping ease effects of chicken pox but people seem to highlight the mythical reasons or simply just don’t have a valid reason why they believe/follow. Oh they say you should do this and that. I don’t know why but let’s not take the risk.

Common Indian myths and the scientific benefits:

Quarantine yourself: the one with chicken pox should stay away and avoid contact with other people as it is bad luck, people would be afraid of the mata in case they too become a target so to speak. However the virus is simply highly contagious and although in some case it can be dangerous such as elderly and pregnancy (see nhs) most of the population recover with out any medical interventions. Therefore staying away is the same courtesy as having the flu, so however tempting it may be, its best to avoid the urge of running around the streets like a naked diseased zombie, stay at home and rest until you recover.

Don’t look in the mirror: as the more you look the worse the rash will get. The virus can increase with new pimples for upto 3 days before it stops and enters the next phase. So psychological if you believe in the superstition or have any doubt by day 3 you would natural probably shit yourself and stop looking in the mirror. Don’t worry though this is the natural process of the chicken pox. Plus if you have pox up your bum you would definitely want to stay calm!

Stay away from the menstruating ladies: This one is similar to not entering a Mandir when you’re menstruating. In the old days it was considered unhygienic and  women were essentially banned during that time. There is absolutely no reason why this should happen and menstruating is a natural process of the female body.

Leave water close to you: simply so that you don’t go around and potentially spread the disease, because it is contagious. hello hydration!

Don’t take a bath: you CAN take a bath but just be careful not to break any of the pimples as the stuff can spread on your skin and cause more pimples so be careful and pat to dry. So the only questions here are do you smell really bad that it can’t be avoided?  and is it worth the extra spots due to accidental popping? Just kidding it’s totally up to you!

Do not scratch, you will permanently scarr: agressive scratching can cause permanent scarring, however generally most should fade over time.

Neam leaves: used as an ointment, to bath in, lay on and hang outside and around the house. To ward off evil? Well superstitiously maybe, along with lemons and chilli of course.  However Neam leaves actually have antiseptic properties to help with healing and alleviating rash symptoms, just like the benefits of aloe Vera. The hanging around the house is like the onion effect or using dettol antiseptic spray to kill the bugs.

Avoid cooking and eating oily and deep fried foods including onions and garlic: as this further angers the goddess! Actually the virus can reduce liver functionality and therefore make it harder to digest these types of foods, so basically avoid and give your body a rest.

No medication: it is believed that only prayers and worship for forgiveness can rid of the disease and medication only makes mata more angry. Although in most cases medical interventions are not necessary some do get an extreme version of it and in this case would require medical help.

Your feet will not be infected: as mata would not touch your feet. Chicken pox can spread anywhere, in fact you can get it in your mouth, ears and eyes too. Oh and don’t forget you bum bum!

Roast black chick peas. Not really sure what this was supposed to do or what I was supposed to do with them. However I did look into the health benefits of them just out of plain curiosity and discovered that black chick peas applied in a paste form can help reduce scarring from pimples and acne. Who would have thought!? 

Pray to the aloe Vera plant: I have no idea what on earth this would do. Any ideas? The actual gel though is fantastic for helping with skin conditions and cooling the itchy rash.


When going to the bathroom avoid walking with left foot and hop till you arrive at your destination…
Ok, this one was a wind up. Haha.

No sex: The funniest thing I heard was whilst a relative shared these stories with me that she was advised along with other things, she couldn’t have sex for 6 weeks….Erm. Well, apart from the cautionary advise for early pregnancies and newborns, if you are not planning on having more babies there is no reason I can find for this one. So sex away…

Voila, that’s my list of myths for chicken pox. Did I miss any? Do you have certain beliefs or rituals for chicken pox? Let me know I love learning how other people do things and why.

Why is it hard to stop though …
Perhaps in fear of being attacked by the angry maaji, I mean Mata. Oops, cue huge teeth grin. Superstition refers to any belief or practice which is explained by supernatural causality, and is in contradiction to modern science.  Associate professor of psychology Don Saucier stated that superstitions are behaviours that people perform in an attempt to affect or control their future by performing certain tasks in certain way to either help alleviate anxiety or to simply better their chances in a certain situation.

It seems though that these behaviors can all be linked to a strong belief that has been embedded in human history, Dale B. Martin (30 June 2009). Superstition in India is considered a widespread social problem* , which can be seen through religious and spiritual beliefs, as well as amulets, totems and charms that were used to ward off evil and arguably sacrifices performed to receive good luck.

Also if a person’s superstitious behavior and the events it’s linked to are shown repeatedly to be unassociated, then the superstition could go away. This process is called extinction in learning theory. However if the association reappears for the person, then the superstition can just as easily return.

All this totally makes sense when we think of our Indian culture and women (and some men too) because generally speaking according to research (Vyse) women are more superstitious than men. Our Maaji’s were born and brought up in a society where men were the main bread winners and women the home makers, where they had limited say in the outside world, so maybe in order to have a sense of control of events in their lives they end up with superstitious behaviours?

Do you agree?
*The literacy rate of India, according to the 2011 census is at 74%. India’s literacy rate rises to 74%: Census. March 23 2011. Extracted 26 July 2016

I’m decorating our bedroom 

​Hubby and I decorated our home before the kids came along and let’s just say the kids have put their own mark on it over the years and not just our kids the niece and nephews have all taken part.

We decided to go for 3 wall paint and 1 wall with featured wall paper and though it was a great idea as paint is easy to cover over and easy to do in reality it’s been a pain in the ass. The paint was a random variation of cream but looked really good in the room, clean and fresh. 

As P discovered crayons and pens when she was a toddler, everything changed and colouring books and paper was just not enough for her. There would be felt all over the fireplace and kitchen cabinets. We now have random ‘works of art’ on the walls around the house and not forgetting the calpol with syringe, a true master piece!! 

The time when P got hold of the de-Icer and really thought she was helping mummy clean the walls and the floor. In the end i was left with a wet wall and soaked floor, noooo! Was my inital reaction. What a dilemma she actually thought she did a super job and said I’ll help you mummy with an innocent face, so I couldn’t tell her off. After explaining the purpose of a de-icer I got her to help me clean the floor and with the wall, well, I got a cloth and rubed all the stains together hoping it would magically disappear but was left with this huge circle of a stain, bollocks I thought. Luckily though it all dried off and now you can’t tell, phew! 

Lots of people have said to me you shouldn’t let them do these things and you need to be more strict on them. Well, firstly we don’t LET them do it. Kids have a way about them, they will do it when you least expect it or it’ll be so quick the damage will be done before you even lift your foot to go into that dive to save the wall. Shit happens, it’s all about how we deal with it rather than dwell on it. 

I mean i know parents who dont even let thier child feed themselves because the child might dirty the wall and floor. I mean really? but thats because im an easy going mum and love sensory play! It is hard though there are times we just want a clean house and orderly children but then that’s when I know that some thing is wrong with mine, haha. Each to their own, do what is best for you as all family dynamics are different.

I have found though understanding child development stages can really help shape how I deal with situations. Self control is a learnt behaviour and children learn it over time. Child development expert Nina Lief, author of The First THREE Years of Life, says children this young are torn between wanting to do as their parents tell them to (in this case “Don’t write on the wall”) and giving in to their impulses. They then are overcome by frustration and respond with writing on the wall anyway followed by kicks and tantrums. 

If you want to know more read this for a boost of information on child development and self control.
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/paint/”>Paint</a&gt;

Pica 

In both my pregnancies I had Pica, that’s when you crave substances with little or no nutritional value and usually are not things that you would eat. Pica is actually Latin for magpie, a bird that will notoriously eat anything and I guess if you suffer in pregnancy like I did, you become a magpie, hehe. 

My cravings were rather strong for wood, petrol and I was absolutely obsessed with fresh Mint and erm a certain adult activity huc hum (let’s keep this blog pg  rated shall we). I have to say though I personally refrained from actually consuming wood and petrol but I did get my fix by smelling petrol at the filling station, sniffing the fresh varnish and walking past fresh tarmac. My favourite was buying ice cream with sticks, so I could chew the wooden stick afterwards, of course you HAVE to eat the ice cream first, hehe.

Pregnant women also crave things like dirt, paper ( Oh I had that one too, the smell of newspaper was a must occasionally going for a chew and throw out), chalk, dry rice, gasoline, paint thinner, toilet paper, rocks, laundry detergent, bleach and ice.

Yep, all this sounds super weird and horrible but seriously when i was pregnant and craving, it was all I could think of until I gave in and headed to the freezer for that ice cream, haha.

The good news is that most of these symptoms are thought to be linked to mineral deficiency of either Zinc, Magnesium or Iron or maybe all of them, so looking in to your diet and adjusting it may help you.  For me this information helped me to add normal foods that were rich in these minerals and it definitely made a difference and calmed down my cravings, although the fresh mint continued till the end of the pregnancy. 

Luckily though once the pregnancy was over the Pica went too.

Pica can effect all adults and children too, if you feel you may have the symptoms always go to consult your doctor or medical expert first.

Have you experienced Pica or going through it now? Let me know I’d love to hear your story.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/craving/”>Craving</a&gt;