9 things MaaJi’s always say to new mums

You enter the Gurdwara with your new born and there is plenty of sangat around. You know most of them or at least they know who you are and before you can take your shoes off and head towards the divan all the Maaji’s scurry over bursting to see the baby, as if the smell of a newborn baby had wafted through the gurdwara and alerted all the ladies of the arrival just like honey to a bee. With out wasting any time and sometimes before the Maaji’s even get to you the questions pour out:

 

1. Kee aayea (is it a boy or girl?) Girlchal koini, kaneya ae ah! Dont worry about it, pitty on you and then bless you with a future son.
Boy
vadaiya! Best thing ever, the maaji’s over spill in joy and tell you tera kaam hogea (Your work is done!). Best thing to do is to keep remembering you have a gift from God,  boy or girl they are both precious and just as important.

2. Hon dehr naa kari/Shetti banaa li?
Don’t delay, make baby today! (Yep, you said it in an Indian accent. I know you did!!) Basically telling you that you have 1 now, so have another while your at it because your child needs a sibling and it’s better when they are closer together in age and apparently easier. Don’t give juwaab trust me it’s not worth it, just smile and say Hanji Hanji!

3. Rondi taani. (She doesnt cry does she?)
no, she was born with fully developed vocal cords and is able to speak and tell me exactly what she needs, and that too in Punjabi and English. Haha, of course babies cry. They can’t speak so that’s their way of communicating. You will hear a few stories of so and so had a baby that always/or never cried but they mean no harm here and will just bombard you with helpful advise, whether you want it or not. Just stay calm and say Hanji, thank you!

4. Raat nu utdi taani? (She doesn’t wake up at night does she?)
If your answer is No, Maaji goes straight on to next question . If your answer is Yes, Maaji expresses concern,”ucha, Chall koini, babies do that! Followed by a tonne of their own baby waking up stories. Best way to deal with it is smile and say Hanji, thank you!

5. Aapna dudh palondi ah? Do you breastfeed?
Either way the maaji’s come out with their own opinions and stories. Just remember what ever you choose it is your decision so just smile and say Hanji, thank you!

6. Shetti bottle te laadi?
Give her the bottle quickly, because sweety they don’t take it other wise and that’ll be a pain to deal with.
Whatever you choose to do, it’s your decision and your experience. Advice is great but don’t judge the mummy’s if they don’t want to use a bottle. Oh and Hanji Hanji!

7. Kede te gae ah? Who does he/she take after?
Before you have a chance to even respond they will then tell you who the baby looks like and praise or even dismiss and tell you don’t worry they will change! In some cases they won’t say anything and walk off. Yep, ha!

8. Delivery normal si ya opretion naal?
Was it a natural birth or Caesarian? Again followed by stories and wish you a great recovery and give you tips on what to do/not to do with your body for the first few weeks.

9. kede te gaeya? Who does he/she look like She looks like a squished up tiny human at the moment, but they always know or think they know and will openly express their opinion.  Also If maaji’s perceive you or any member of the family with outstanding features they will ask you does he/she have that feature.

( I have coloured eyes so this seems to be a huge focus on my kids)
one of the first things I had was this followed by attempts to get the baby to open her eyes and then decide for themselves whether she has the eyes or not. Well she was born yday, eyes take about a year to develop and well, really? Does it really matter enough to disturb my baby? No! Get away from my sleeping baby and don’t touch her eyes with your subji fingers, haha!

Sometimes it can be over whelming and others might be completely fine with all the questions. Everyone’s experience and feelings are different and all the Maaji’s mean well. You will see the funny side of it later but don’t forget to take a deep breathe, smile and say Hanji, thank you!

Hanji solves everything!!

Midnight showers. A hot steamy night….

Midnight showers. A hot steamy night….

It was late, silent and dark. It was time ….both children were sleeping and husband was in bed, I knew this was the moment. It was now or never! I jumped in long strides like a ninja out of the room. Avoiding those noisy areas of the floor that would certainly wake the kids up and quietly ran to the bathroom. Switching on the blue spa lights that made the bathroom feel so relaxing just like the spa or steam room at the gym, only there’s no steam just yet and it was dark and strangely romantic. Just the way I like it.

I switched on the rainfall shower and the boiler makes a noise, that’s when DaddySingh knows I’m in the shower in the middle of the night.  The water gushed out and splashed the bottom and turned hot quickly whilst changing colours above the bath lights. I lit my favourite rainforest candle to set the mood and threw my clothes off with a quick listen at the door to make sure baby hasn’t woken up. I’m sure he’ll handle it if she does, I think to myself with a little giggle. 

I stepped in to the hot shower, cold where the water first hit the bottom and quickly moved closer in where it was nice and warm. I shut my eyes turned and stood underneath the hot waterfall and began my mindfulness (just like the “yes yes” lady. You know herbal essence advert, wink wink).

The hot water droplets hit my body like a waterfall as I lather up the shower gel and massage into my body.  All the mummy stress began to melt away…If only Superman or even Batman (oh yes!) was here to massage these shoulders, right under the waterfall deep in the middle of a rainforest, grinning to myself and starting to feeling happy and relaxed ‘mmmm…” 

I let my imagination run wild, deep with in the forest with those big strong hands on my shoulders…

Suddenly, I hear a noise I turned back into the room now all hot and steamed up, and looked at the door hoping it was nothing and I can get right back to where I was but I see the door handle moving down. Oh no.

Ah, Maybe it’s superman and my dreams have come true, haha! But no, I see DaddySingh peek through the door, yeah that’ll do I laughed to myself with his eyes half closed and a slight grin to his face. What was he thinking? Maybe he’ll join me? Hot steamy shower with my hubby…he comes in slowly as I continue to enjoy the water hitting the back of my neck hard and giving me a sense of calm. 

I step to the side of the shower screen and he slowly walks in looking all sleepy and sexy. Hmm he looks cute, maybe he’s thinking the same thing? He definitely knew what I was thinking as his grin enlargens and his eyes now a bit more awake with a cheeky glint suggesting let’s make the most of it whilst the kids are sleeping. Yep this is gunna be fun but right then I see a tiny foot, then a leg and suddenly in his arms was a very sleepy crying but grinning baby looking at me, they both then glance at each other just as if sharing the same joke ‘Let’s go get mummy’! 

She woke up, the baby woke up! 

Oh Fiteh Moo! I thought in my head. Although I’m sure my lips moved to some degree.

I remembered the threat he gave me a few days ago whilst having breakfast in the kitchen “watch, I will do it” he said as I laughed to show him I wasn’t the slightest concerned and didn’t think he really would.  He hates the fact that I choose this ungodly hour to have my dreamy showers and always threatens me that he’ll bring the baby to me in the bathroom whilst I shower if she wakes up for a breastfeed and that’s exactly what he did and he was proud of it, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he walks back out with baby leaving the door wide open to let the cold air gush in and force me out the shower.

 I can still feel the grin stretching off his face back into the bathroom as he walked in to our bedroom with the baby radiating a sense of victory.  So proud of himself.  I will get him back though! 

Showers to me are like those cups of tea/coffee (or maybe something stronger for you lovable alcoholics) moments we mummies enjoy when ever our children and the dads let us. 

DaddySingh. He just doesn’t get it, but Midnight Showers, it’s my thing! I knew it was too good to be true though and maybe next time, I should concentrate on doing Waheguru Waheguru and then I won’t get disturbed!? After all the almighty Waheguru is more important than batman right? hehe!

So how did your Valentine’s Day go?

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We have a cr-uffler!

Me and baby had just arrived home after doing the home shopping and we were both hungry. I decided to pack everything away and let baby play around on her mat with her toys in the lounge. Whilst I was unpacking I could hear her talking and playing around so went in to see what she was up to. 

I entered the room with my eyes on the area where I left her but it was empty, my heart was about to skip a beat when I saw her staring at me about a foot to left. She had noticed something she wanted to play with and somehow moved over to get it. 

”Ah baby, how did you get there I asked'”

Obviously she didn’t talk back but I did get an I’m impressed and you’ll never know type of giggle. I went back to the kitchen to sort our lunch out. We were having jacket potatoes with cottage cheese, organic of course with lots of salad. As that was getting done I went back to play with baby and as I walked in amazingly she had moved again and this time she was headed towards the coffee table.

This is when I realised that the first time she had moved was no coincidence and she has actually found a way of getting around. Completely excited and full of enthusiasm I ran in front of her saying ”Ajaa aaja” (come come) with the hand motions in full swing as well, however baby just looked at me with expressions that could be interpreted in so many ways but basically meant NO!

The microwave went beep and lunch was ready but before I went I thought I’ll try again and said ‘aaja baby’ and she then smiled and shook her head to say no. She grasped that one quite quickly, kids love saying no don’t they! 

As I was plating up our lunch and had literally turned to walk back into the lounge when I heard, Thud!, bang!….waaaaa! I ran in with our plates and saw baby lying on the floor crying with the air fan beside her. To my amazement she had made it to the side of the TV, reached up and pulled the fan down!

That’s when I knew our lives had turned a corner, because now is the new era of baby mobility. Once they enter that ‘travelling’ phase where they are able to move around in some way or another you suddenly realise your home has hazards every where!!

Thankfully she wasn’t hurt though and we continued on to enjoy our lunch whilst I thought about rearranging the whole house to make way for a new baby on the move!!

She now gets around by heading for a crawl but transitions in to a shuffle. That’s what I mean by cr-uffling, half crawling and half shuffling. Babies eh!

All babies are different and start moving in so many different ways, my toddler did rollie pollies. How did your baby move around? 

Our first all nighter

Our first all nighter

It’s almost 4:30am in the morning I think (I can’t even see the clock, the clock is a dot me right now. That’s how tired I am) and I’m still up pushing baby around the living room in her pushchair.

You see, I finally decided to wean her off breast milk and currently combine feeding with formula, however she now has her first bad cold, MummyKaur pulls sad face. Yes, I give all credit to breastfeeding because it did miracles for both of us. I mean we both escaped the winter flu and colds whilst toddler and DaddySingh were very poorly that’s how good breast milk is, not even a sniffle. I’m sure now though it’ll all happen now, haha.

Anyway, pushing baby around in her bugaboo (the best and most comfy pushchair ever!) because she is poorly and isn’t sleeping. No, seriously round and round in endless circles, number eights, squiggly circles, short spinning circles and back and forth to help her sleep. She has even managed to wake up her sister a few times, who is now crying and being gently calmed down by DaddySingh. As soon as baby knocks out though, I slip out for a cup of tea and that lasts only minutes (5 minutes we have made it so far) but she will definitely wake up again and so it will continue.

This has to be a first for her with a very bad cold, teething, blocked nose and cough. However not so much of a first for me and DaddySingh (who is by the way sound a sleep in that comfy bed…MummyKaur dreams of sleep!), we went through all this with toddler and a lot more of it but no matter how many times you do it, it’s always hard. Thank god for Chaa and Bessan (usually chocolate, in fact always chocolate but we just happen to have Bessan, so why not?!) Oh and blogging!

She did wake up again because of her blocked nose and we did continue our merry go round all through the night. She eventually slept though and both toddler and baby woke up at the same time, all happy like nothing happened.  

…Now where did I leave my happy mug?

Anyone else been up with their kids recently? How did you get through?